Where are you?
In a non slutty way
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
