Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
