Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
