Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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