What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
