She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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