Porn is love you can see.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize