college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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