What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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