my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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