So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I want to be your penis for a week.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Randomize