My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
