I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Randomize
