Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
