I murdered the dance floor call the cops
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
