with your own penis?
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
you didnt know i had herpes?
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
