he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
