She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
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