Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
that is very illegal...i love you.
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