therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
too bad you live with your parents still
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
this will be a night to untag.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Randomize
