i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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