Apparently you make a good broom.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
so much tequila, so little girl.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
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