you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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