I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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