ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
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