JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
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