you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
