i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
