He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
