respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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