youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
