Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
