but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
You smell like stripper and shame
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
