hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Randomize
