Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Randomize
