so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Randomize