yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
