So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Randomize
