Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize