My friends, they love my intelligence
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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