you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
He? As in you personified your dick?
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
