He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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