It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
