hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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