I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
i came on her dog
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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