i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
