you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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