You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Randomize
