I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
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