ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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