Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize