the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
