she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Randomize
