Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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