Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
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