Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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