I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
