Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
