We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
