somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
